Why?

Why should I stay?

If I could make a list about the words I hate, "why" would be on it.

It would be probably on the top 5.

I mean, can somebody explain me the reason of having a explanation for everything?

I do not have a explanation for everything and yet, I do not want to have it.

I think we owe nobody an explanation.

I think people should do whatever they want without having to explain their reasons.

I think people don't even need to have reasons.

But also, I overthink.

Yeah, I think too much.

Because no matter what my opinion is, and how much I hate giving explanations, I was born in a world where everything needs to be explained.

Even the things we are not able to.

Most of the human beings can't accept the idea of something happening that they can't explain.

Love is the perfect example for that.

People is constantly looking an explanation for love, a reason, a formula...

And yet, love is just something you feel.

Most of the people either think they have an explanation for love, and if not, they decide not to believe in it.

I, instead, love the idea of feeling, seeing, hearing things I can't explain. 

I think there's something magical on those things, they make you feel alive because they put your abilities to the maximum.

Like when you have a tattoo, everybody asks what does it means or why you made it.

Maybe I don't have a reason, or maybe I do, and I just don't want to tell anyone. 

It's just a piece of art, look at it, appreciate it, don't intend to understand it.

If I must continue, I think the most difficult part about ending a relationship is the question "why?"

"Why you go?"

"Why you did this?"

"Why you don't love me?"

"Why you don't try?"

"Why are we ending?"

You see... Why if I just feel like it?

Why do I go? Maybe I just don't have reasons to stay anymore. Maybe I lost the 'thing'.

How is the human race capable of taking the non-given right to question the feelings of another person.

How if you yourself are not able to understand it?

I don't like people questioning why do I go when they are not giving me reasons to stay. 

And no reasons to stay is a good big reason to go for me.

I yet don't like people questioning why I gave up when I spent time trying so hard... Alone.

I hate the word "why" and yet I love it.

Because when you directly ask someone something using that word, you're putting them to their limits.

You're seeing a true part of theirselves.

Like when you ask your friend "why didn't you text me?"

And they answer: "I didn't have time"

And you realize that all the times you took minutes of your day for that person are not worth it anymore.

I think is a powerful word and I think humans are overrating it. 

But I repeat, you should not follow my believes because I overthink too much. 

But consider again before using the word "why", you may get an unexpected answer. If you use the word, you must be ready for everything. 

The frog I kissed is not the prince for me.

He is a prince, just not MY prince.

I don't hate him, even if I wasted time with him, and I hate wasting time.

When you waste time with the right people, is not wasted at all, but this time it is.

And I was happy, don't take me wrong. I had my happy moments as a result of what he did. But most of them, we're not very happy.

I know I am not the most romantic person in the world, or the more open feelings one. But I tried.

I gave a lot of love and attention, maybe too much, maybe that was problem. I put him over everything. He didn't realized that.

I don't blame him, I also don't realize a lot of things. Like everything he said he did. 

Maybe was one day, maybe was everything he did, or maybe was just my craziness, but that something made me feel tired.

I do feel love for him. But I don't feel that special little thing when I talk to him anymore, I am not excited to see him and that's maybe because we never did anything exciting.

I just don't feel like it anymore, and I could be a whole month just thinking about reasons and I wouldn't find them.

I could try again. Yes.

But is it wrong to say that I just don't want to?

I don't want to go back to the same things, the same days passing over... 

There's just something that tells me that if I try, if go into that again... He won't try hard enough.

Love is a two side thing.

I'm tired of trying alone for something he's the only one that is going to gain something for.

Something like happiness. Something like comfort. Something like the knowing that someone is there for whatever you want. For you.

Maybe that's why I don't want to try again.

And maybe because I don't like to try again.

I've always hated seconds.

Saying things twice, hearing things twice, doing things twice.

I just don't find interest on the same thing a second time.

I don't like hearing a song a lot of times, I can't stand watching the same movie for a second time, and I do not like second chances.

If you make the first chance worth, what do you want a second chance for?

If you can't give the first one importance, then for me, you're not worth the second.

Maybe I'm mean, yes, I got tell that often, but less than I should.

But that's me, I can't change it.

And yes he is a prince, he is a good man, he do a lot of good stuff, but he is not my prince. For me? He is still a frog.

And I think he is still not sure about how his princess should be.

Because I think the first thing his princess should is pantient and monotony-liker, and well, I'm totally the opposite of that.

And I am sorry, for not being the princess for him.

But between his beautiful smile and mine, I choose mine.

And between keeping myself as I am and being the princess he needs, I choose me.

I'll give myself a chance.